Features | Experience of the Divinity of Bhagavan by Devotees | Group V | Mrs. Sai Susan

Mrs. Sai Susan,
452, Sheik Sarai-1,
New Delhi - 110 017.

Tel: 011-2601 7418
E-mail: saimahadeva@rediffmail.com

Mrs. Sai Susan (60), who retired from the Indian Institute of Foreign Trade, relates a few of her experiences of the Divinity of Bhagavan in her own words.

'I had the darshan of Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba in New Delhi in 1973 for the first time. He was all smiles, charm and brilliance. I was impressed, but did not realise then that I was face to face with the Lord.

Though I was born in an orthodox Christian family, my life was certainly not God-centric. My materialistic life, going on smoothly with a good job and sons doing well, suffered a rude jolt in 1996 when my elder son Akash, who was in the USA for six years, ran into enormous problems from which only God could have saved him. I came to know of the gravity of the situation from my sister and brother who were also in the States. During those days, I came into contact with a Buddhist devotee by name Kazovi Varma mysteriously. She was a wonderful person who had taught me how to pray. She also told me about the immense value of service to the poor and the needy. Though I was new to Buddhist practices, the depth and intensity of the Gongyo and the chanting of 'Nam-myoho-ringe-kyo' had profound impact on me. Kajovi was praying intensely for my son, Akash. Little did I realise at that time that all our prayers were reaching promptly Sarva Devaateeta Swaroopa Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba.

Mr.Vithal Babu, a devotee of Bhagavan, had by that time become my friend, guide and philosopher. He assured me that Bhagavan was in charge of the situation. I used to pray to Bhagavan intensely in my mind - sometimes arguing and sometimes pleading. I don't know if I really believed in Him to be the God - Almighty while I prayed to Him, or did so out of desperation. I even challenged Him saying 'You are the creator of the universe; can't You locate one little boy, and bring him back home?' No sooner did I dare Him with this threatening challenge than things started looking up. News reached me that Akash was safe. His passport which had expired one year back was taken care of. He was back at home in a few days.

Overwhelmed with joy and relief, I don't remember if I thanked the Lord for His mercy. Though Akash was back safely, certain financial constraints and hang-ups of life in the USA were bothering us, especially me. During that time, I took out, by chance, the book 'Sai Baba - The Miracle Man' by Murphet. In fact, it was in our bookshelf remaining unread for almost three decades. I opened at random and began to glance through it. Somewhere in the midst of it, I jumped out of my bed screaming 'I must go to Puttaparthi.' Mr. Vithal Babu provided necessary information and support. I had the good fortune of reading meanwhile the book 'Sai Saccharitra' also in the stipulated seven days. I also read 'A catholic priest meets Sai Baba' by an Italian priest. It was highly inspiring and appealing to my Christian background. My two sons and I planned to go to Prasanthi Nilayam first, and then to my native place in Kerala.

On the day of our departure, we were pleasantly surprised to receive vibhuti-prasad from Shirdi by post by way of blessing of Sainath for the trip. We boarded Karnataka Express in Delhi with heavy luggage of six to seven big pieces. The next day, Akash complained about his severe lung condition and asked for immediate medical attention and treatment. He was literally choking for breath. Strange, it may appear, I did not panic. I took out the vibhuti-prasad I had received from Shirdi from my purse and rubbed it on his chest, chanting Sairam and assuring him that he would be all right. In less than 10 minutes he slept peacefully, and woke up in the morning visibly normal. The bus-ride from the Dharmavaram railway station to Prasanthi Nilayam was such a wonderful experience that we forgot all the journey strain looking at lush green fields. En-route are the pink coloured water tanks of Sri Sathya Sai Water Project. We passed by the massive architecture wonder, the SSSIHMS, which looks more like a temple than a hospital. As we were reaching Prasanthi Nilayam, everything unfamiliar and new to us; yet we were enveloped by a sense of home coming and a feeling 'this is where we belong'.

As I was waiting in the line anxiously in the darshan hall, an enchanting soft music that sounded to me more like the flute of Krishna ushered in Bhagavan. While passing in front me, he looked at me and threw His enchanting smile. 'The moment Swami appeared' Akash told me after we came out of the hall, 'I felt as if an electric current had passed through my entire body, and I knew instantly that I was in the Divine presence.' Mr. Alex, my younger son recalled, 'there was a fine lovely fragrance of jasmines as He emerged. I felt for a moment I was looking at Jesus Christ'.

That night, Akash called out loudly 'Baba, Baba' during sleep. Lord, in His boundless love and compassion, promptly responded, for Akash woke up the next morning completely cured of his longstanding lung ailment. Two days passed. We had daily darshan both in the morning and in the evening. We were to leave on the third day. 'Baba! If you are God and reincarnation of Shirdi Baba' I prayed to Him in my mind, 'give me two signs before we leave. You must look at me and smile. Secondly, you must show me your lotus feet'.

In the morning darshan, the last for us in that trip, we sat expectantly. 'Go to the mandir' a Nepalese lady sitting by my side urged me, 'you will get a closer view of Bhagavan' I was reluctant to follow her advice for fear of the sevadal taking exception to it. But she began to push me literally to get up and move. I got up and went towards the mandir. No one stopped me on the way. At the mandir, I met a sevadal lady with a sweet smile who appeared as if she was waiting for me. She made some space for me to sit just outside the door of the mandir from where I could see Swami's chair clearly.

As bhajan began, Swami walked in and sat gracefully on His chair. I was overwhelmed with joy and began crying in ecstasy. However, I kept on reminding Him mentally about fulfilment of my requests. His eyes were everywhere except on me. I began to pray intensely 'Swami, pray look at me'. But He seemed looking at others except me deliberately. I got panicky as the last bhajan song began. My heart was screaming and bleeding as the last line of the song was nearing. Then, Swami, slowly but majestically, turned to me, and His lovely glance was on me sending two beams of dazzling light. I was bathed in bliss Divine, and was unmindful of big, big tears rolling down my cheeks. I was in my own world of thrill and joy, and did not even notice that Bhagavan had left! Then the same sweet smiling sevadal lady whispered into my ear 'go to the other side. You can see Swami leaving.' I rushed to the other side. What did I see? Swami was walking towards His residence in Poornachandra. My eyes fell on His lovely feet treading the carpet one after the other! And he was walking, lifting up His robe with one hand a few inches as if to satisfy my yearning for His padadarshan. 'He is God-Almighty' I told myself, 'without an iota of doubt, Shirdi Baba born again!'

After leaving Prasanthi Nilayam in an ecstatic state of happiness, we reached our home in Kerala where my mother and my aunt were living after the expiry of my father. They were not told in advance of our visit to Prasanthi Nilayam. So I was surprised when my aunt said, 'you have been to see Sai Baba!' 'Yes' I replied, 'but how did you know'. I had a photograph of Baba with me. She showed it to me. 'He is Sri Sathya Sai Baba' she said, 'He appeared in my dream and asked 'isn't your name Sareh?' He then blessed me.'

I took advantage of my stay there to narrate our experiences at Prasanthi Nilayam, and also read to her about Baba from various books. When I was reading to her the episode of Crucifix from Dr. Hislop's experience and showed her the photograph of the Jesus on the cross materialized by Bhagavan for Dr. Hislop, she broke down and wept. 'Baba is Jesus', she said after she controlled herself. Since that day she has been living in His constant presence.

We returned to Delhi, and with us entered our house Baba. He has been there with us all the time, but we could learn of that only after our trip to Him at Prasanthi Nilayam.

Though our life seems to move on familiar lines again in Delhi, I know it is never the same again. Today we live in the Divine fragrance of our Lord.

It was, while going through 'Sathyam Sivam Sundaram', I came across the word Bangaru frequently used by Bhagavan. I was sharing with Mr. Vithal Babu the beauty and simplicity of the word Bangaru. He came up with the idea of writing a book on Swami. The idea took the shape of the book 'Sai Bangaru Revolution'. It was motivated, written and blessed by Swami, with Vithalji as His instrument. While drafting that book, Vithalji used to ask me on phone frequently, 'I want so and so information; quick, please'. I would take out a book and open it at random. There used to appear the information Vithalji phoned for. This happened not once, but several times.'

-- Mrs. Sai Susan

(As narrated to Mr. B. Parvatala Rao at Prasanthi Nilayam on 25.11.2005.)