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Mrs. Lolita,
W/o Darius Zukas,
Video & Graphic Designer,
Prasanthi Digital Studio,
Prasanthi Nilayam.

Mrs. Lolita, a longstanding devotee of Bhagavan from Lithuania, narrates some of her experiences in her own words.

'I have been in the habit of doing meditation for several years now. I am used to having a vision filled with bluish radiance during meditation, which I have always assumed to be the formless Divinity.

During the year 1996, a video show was organized in our office in Vilnius, the capital of Lithuania. About 20 persons attended the show. Normally, I prefer to sit in the rear seats, but on that day I felt as if some energy was pushing me to the front. So, I went and sat in front of the T.V.

They showed a film in which Sri Sathya Sai Baba was performing vibhuti abhishekam to Shirdi Sai Baba's idol, and some white dust was all over the body of Sri Sathya Sai Baba. I was unaware of a substance called vibhuti till then and took it as some dust. On that day I was in a black dress. When I saw the film, I felt that I was not watching a show but seeing Swami Himself in person. I found the bluish radiance, which I was observing during meditation, around swami's head. Then I noticed some dust falling on me. It was seen clearly on the black dress I wore. I dusted it off. But soon it was there again. I found that the white dust was emanating from the tip of my fingers.

I asked the video show to be stopped as I thought that some dust was falling from the roof on my fingers and dress. But on examination, it was not so. I dusted off my dress well and sat to watch the show that was resumed. From the time I noticed the dust falling, there was a fine fragrance, which I assumed to be some new type of scent applied by one of those who came to watch the show. Many persons who attended the show noticed the fragrance as well as the white dusty coat on my dress. We could not understand what it was.

During the show, I had a feeling that something amazing was happening to me, and I decided that I should go and see this holy man once. After a few weeks, some people wanted to go to Puttaparthi in India to see Sri Sathya Sai Baba. 'Why don't you join us', they asked me. 'I have pressing business work', I said, 'It is impossible for me to leave now'. Then I heard an inner voice telling me, 'you will come to me in May'.

In May 1996, I went to Puttaparthi as told by the inner voice. We were seven persons in our group. That time Darius was not in the group. Soon after our landing in New Delhi, India, we were afraid to drink water, and to eat spicy food. Some of us had developed stomachache, too. We did not know how to reach Puttaparthi. As advised by some local people we got into a train for Bangalore as Swami was then stated to be at Brindavan, Bangalore. We could get only 3 berths reserved though we needed seven. It so happened, owing to Swami's grace, that four persons who had berths reserved did not turn up. Therefore, we all had berths and could comfortably travel.

In the train we found some persons who were also going to Brindavan. They were doing Bhajan and invited us to join. But at that time, we did not know what a Bhajan was. Yet we went and joined them. As they were doing Bhajan, I sat there with closed eyes trying to appreciate the music. I then saw the bluish radiance, which I have been used to finding during meditation. Soon after the Bhajan, my colleagues who were suffering from stomachache were miraculously relieved of the pain and discomfort.

We were at Brindavan for two weeks having daily Darshan of Swami. Then Swami left for Puttaparthi. We, too, moved to Puttaparthi. We were given accommodation in a dormitory. I felt that my life was not being managed well. I wanted to tell Swami how He should rearrange the ashram at Prasanthi Nilayam (including the facilities for devotees / pilgrims). But then I felt as if Swami had said that He knows better.

When I was in the dormitory, one night I had a feeling that Swami was standing by my side. I wanted to take the opportunity to tell Him how to improve things. When I began, I felt that I was being pushed back gently by Swami as if Swami was hinting that my advice was not needed. And I fell backwards from my sitting posture due to the gentle push of Swami. Swami disappeared and I fell asleep.

We were in Puttaparthi for two weeks. Swami called us for a group interview. We were 20 persons in all, in our group. At the outset, Swami materialized vibhuti and gave to all ladies present. Then he spoke to gents for a few minutes in English. In our group we had people speaking different languages. At the end Swami said, 'enough! You can come tomorrow'. We all assumed that when Swami said tomorrow, He meant the very next day. We did not know that he had meant a 'future day'.

That day I recognized the dust, that had fallen on my black dress while I was watching a video show long back in my office, on Swami performing vibhuti abhishekam to Shirdi Sai idol. It was not dust but vibhuti. I saw the same bluish radiance, which I have been used to seeing during meditation, around Swami.

At the interview another thing happened. Swami said, 'those who are leaving may go into the other room'. At that time, there was a rule with the Russian Airlines by which we had travelled that one should get his / her ticket confirmed one week before the date of journey. As Swami said that those who were leaving should go to the other room, all of us understood that we could get our reservations confirmed.

Next day, some persons in my group asked me to keep a letter, reminding Swami about meeting Him again as observed by Him at the interview. I sat in Darshan lines with a letter requesting for interview. Swami came to me during the Darshan and took the letter. He then stood for a couple of minutes looking at me. When He was looking at me, I felt that he was not just looking at me but was looking into my future.

All people in my group took Padanamaskars, but I could not touch His feet however much I tried. Earlier I was thinking, 'Swami! I may be having some karmic debt, kindly erase it'. In fact, my ego made me think that my karmic debt was not much. But when I could not bring my hands closer to Swami's feet, I realized that I should not consider my karmic debt that small. Thus Swami made me realize my folly and taught me a lesson.

When I returned to Vilnius, I found my position on spiritual plane receive a boost after my visit to Puttaparthi though my financial position as well as the situation on the personal front had begun to enter troubled waters.

My friends and colleagues started heaping ridicule upon me. They used to crack jokes at my expense for coming under the spell of an Indian God-man. I thought that Swami was reorganizing my life totally on a different mode. It was not easy, of course, at the beginning to adjust to the new situation. But, by Swami's grace, I could manage to remain afloat.

At the end of June 1998, I came again to Puttaparthi with a group of 20 persons, which included Darius. We knew each other earlier but came much closer only during that trip. It was my second visit to Puttaparthi. We then stayed up to August. One day when I sat in the Darshan lines Swami passed in front of me. Just at that time I noticed vibhuti emanating from my finger tips as happened earlier in 1996 when I was watching a video show at my office.

A few days later, during Darshan, I gave a letter to Swami seeking Swami's approval for my marriage with Darius. Swami took the letter and blessed. After that we returned happily to Vilnius and got married on January 8, 1999.

When I was carrying, I had a peculiar experience of talking with the fetus. In the fourth month, the movement of the fetus stopped and I felt concerned that something was wrong as I had abortion earlier. In a bid to save the pregnancy, I went to a Doctor who, after doing all tests including scanning, came to the conclusion that there was no heartbeat and no movement of the fetus and decided that it was hardly alive. The Doctor advised me to undergo surgery for medical termination of pregnancy without any loss of time. We decided to come back the next day for surgery and returned home totally crestfallen. We both wept and prayed to Bhagavan the whole night.

Next day when we went back to the Hospital, there was another Doctor on duty who insisted on conducting all tests again before performing the surgery. After all the tests were done, the Doctor told us, 'everything is normal. The child inside is quite ok. Why do they send you to undergo surgery?' The Doctor also said, 'may be the equipment might have been faulty earlier and given a wrong reading'.

But I knew that there was no movement of the fetus earlier. It was quite clear to us that Bhagavan intervened effectively in our favour and granted life to the dead fetus.

We, therefore, came to Brindavan in April 1999 and sat in Darshan lines with a letter of thanks. Bhagavan came along and took the letter away! One day before our leaving for our country, Bhagavan called us for interview on April 18. That was when He turned the cheap quality of ring on my husband's finger into a Navaratna ring and taunted me, 'jealous?'

After our return, I delivered a female child on July 1, 2000 whom we named 'Atile'. In April 2001, we came to Brindavan with our newborn. Swami took the letter of thanks from me and gave Padanamaskar.

We came again for Shivaratri in February 2002. Swami took a letter of request from my son, Marijus for admission into Swami's School at Puttaparthi. It was totally his decision, which he had pursued with single-minded devotion. Swami called us for an interview on March 6, 2004 when we requested Swami for admission of Marijus at Puttaparthi. 'You must get Indian Government's permission to study. I will help', Swami said. Later we understood that what Swami had said was to get student visa. We then applied for student visa and got it in record time due to Swami's grace.

Thus, due to Swami's personal blessing, Marijus could get admission, which was his life's ambition. He hopes to join there on June 1, 2004.

We propose to settle down at Puttaparthi. Swami has told my husband who joined for seva at Prasanthi Digital Studio to continue to work there. We realize that we can find no better place than Puttaparthi where one can live in peace and happiness.'

-- Mrs. Lolita

(As narrated to Mr. B.Parvatala Rao at Brindavan, Bangalore on 21.05.2004)